Buddhism; Anger

What is Anger?

“Anger is an emotional response related to one’s psychological interpretation of having been threatened.”

William DeFoore, who is an anger-management writer, described anger as a “pressure cooker: we can only apply pressure against our anger for a certain amount of time until it explodes”

“In contrast, some people have also pointed out the possible harmful effects of suppressing anger”

Last week I went to a teaching and meditation about anger, how it achieves absolutely nothing but further pain. How a person who is suffering with anger needs to ‘train’ their mind, and to practise patience. How there are different degrees of anger and the best way to deal with it.

We also touched on how to talk to an angry person, it was explained how an angry person is ‘on fire’ and if you respond with anger it’s like putting fuel on their fire and making it spread even further. However, if you respond in a patient and calm way, it is like putting water on their fire, there is nothing for them to continue to get angry about.

This made sense to me, the only thing I seemed to have concern about is; I understand you have to be patient and calm etc but there does come a point where you may be walked over or labelled as a ‘pushover’ if you accept someone’s anger too much. I think there should have been more discussion about how you don’t necessarily have to respond just with anger or patience you can show your patience is wearing thin of being treated this way by expressing your point in an assertive but non-angry patient way.

Through my own research, in my
Buddha Book

I have found; It is best to leave anger and to be in control of it, don’t let it control you. Have pride with overcoming it. If you hold back rising anger, you are in control.

There is a way to overcome anger; by love.
If you are always in control of your body and what you feel. You will achieve ‘Nirvana’ this is an unchangeable place where if you go you will suffer no more.

Buddha Website; Anger. Rage. Fury. Wrath. Whatever you call it, it happens to all of us, including Buddhists. However much we value loving kindness, we Buddhists are still human beings, and sometimes we get angry. What does Buddhism teach about anger?

“Anger is one of the three poisons – the other two are greed and ignorance – that are the primary causes of the cycle of samsara and rebirth. Purifying ourselves of anger is essential to Buddhist practice. Further, in Buddhism there is no such thing as “righteous” or “justifiable” anger. All anger is a fetter to realization.”